How does it work?
‘Couples friendly’ therapy for individuals helps put inevitable problems in context of relationship rather that just blaming one person. One person is rarely ever 100% of the problem – it takes two to be in relationship – but working on yourself has been shown to improve relationships. Counseling involves both relationship-skills building as well as insight around things you may not even realize you’re doing.
Regardless of whether you show up alone or with your spouse – everyone must learn they’re unable to change their partner, only themselves. Each person is best served learning their own role in creating conflict. The vast majority of relationship problems are co-created rather than just one person’s fault – which means we all have reactions and decisions we make in relationships that can be improved.
You can always invite your partner into therapy. There are lots of ways to introduce counseling in a manageable way – but when you’re essentially encouraging your partner to open up it doesn’t help to coerce and threaten. Every relationship is different, but often partners who are still invested can become interested in your process or affected by your commitment to having a more satisfying life.